A good laugh

I got two emails from friends sending me this. It is Too funny!

P

Freedom

Hey now,
I'm in the native land. Can I get a "West Side!" since I'm in Vancouver.

It was drama getting here from the Midwest last night. I flew out of Indianapolis because it was the best connection, but meant I had to drive two hours from my house to get there.

When I arrived I was told my flight was delayed by three hours. I'd miss my connection and would have to spend the night in Houston. Then connect the following evening because there is only one flight per day.

Come again? ...Selecta!

I asked about other options. "Nancy" wasn't too concerned about my plight. I bought my ticket on some cheap as dirt website, so I knew it wasn't much value to them. I also am not on their frequent flyer program.

She kept typing, and sighing, typing and sighing. I was getting more and more distressed with each fruitless click.

"That's the best I can do Miss Fe...Felss...Feleese..."

"Call me Perdi!", I told her. Just to end the stammering that was embarrassing us both. I could just see was fixing to call me "Miss Felis-Navidad".

I took a breather and got on my hand held and looked up connections online. I noticed a few--Nancy was holding out on me. But I knew because my ticket was bought on Hotwire I was a sitting duck. But I'd be damned if I was going to spend 24 hours in commute mode--oh hell to the naw.

I noticed a more sympathetic agent and decided to approach her, even though Nancy was free.

NOTE: Just so you know who you are dealing with, I won the drama award in grade 8, was told by my grade 6 teacher Mr. Livingston I was going to be a star actress "with a host of credits to my name". And my mother used to pay us, her children if we could be the first to cry on cue--I never lost.

All of that, I am convinced, prepared me for the moment before me. Here it was, I was about to shine.

Looking anxious, I approached sympathetic looking "Margaret", explaining that I had drove hours to get here from out of state. I was desperate to get to Vancouver tonight, Thursday night just won't do. This was the killer: "Can you help me... please?"

Then I allowed a single tear to escape from my right eye. (I know, mad skills). It was a silent cry, but deadly. This must have pulled at her heart strings, because she called me "Sweetheart".

Pity, sympathy, call it whatever you want, as long as it got me a seat at 35, 000 feet.

Margaret typed till her fingers were blue. Whenever the typing stopped, I would manufacture more tears. Right then, the typing would begin again.

Sweet.

For Em-pha-cis, I sniffled some and said: "I'm sorry".

She announced there was nothing she could do with my ticket on her airline and none of their partners had flights today. But there was one connection leaving in thirty minutes, on another airline. She was going to call them and see what they can do. They didn't pick up the phone when she called.

Dammit, I just knew I was overnighting in blasted Indiana.

But to my surprise, Margie says: I'm going to try to put you on their flight. It may not work but go over and check in like you belong.

With that I grabbed my passport, wiped my tear stained cheeks. (OK they weren't tear stained--but I CAN do that--for the right price), and headed to their counter.

I flashed my great big smile, made chit chat with the agent and gave him my documents, while asking how his day was, and was he ready for the holidays. Hoping that all this banter, would distract from any asterisks or pending remarks that could possibly be next to my name.

My heart was beating so fast. I so desperately didn't want to lose a whole day stuck in airports. With that exchange of pleasantries the man gave me my boarding pass and told me to have a nice flight.

FREEDOM!!

I snatched that piece of paper so fast, and took off like a run away slave towards Kanata!

NOTE: When I got to Van I looked at my original flight. It still hadn't left, and was scheduled to arrive at 3AM the following morning.

Ya see what ones inner drama queen can do.

Shame Free,
Felicien-Navidad

Things That Make You Go Hmm...

I found this story on another blog and decided to post it on mine because it is so shocking. I just don't get it...

Trying not to judge but, I mean really?! Why? How?!

Till I type again,
P

Blasts From The Past

I am in the process of copying articles and photos of my career for a project and its been a great undertaking. I try to keep everything from Bib numbers, fan mail to media. But once I archive it I usually forget, so it's been fun looking at some of the stuff i've been a part of over the years.

Below is what I have stumbled upon this weekend.


What athlete doesn't dream of being on the cover of a cereal box! If you want a stale box of Honey Nut let me know, I found plenty in the garage.



I still can't believe I was on the cover of Time. When my manager called to tell me, I was floored, asking "Are they sure?!". The day of the shoot the crew set up at the wrong campus, two hours north in Chicago. So we ended up shooting a few hours later so they could drive to Chambana.


A spread I did for Toro Mag, I love the background.

Cheerio!
Perdita

Pretty Young Thang?

The oldest person alive just died, may she rest in peace.
Seeing the story made me wonder if I would want to live that long. I think I would as long as I am healthy and some what independent.



World's Oldest Person Dies in Indiana

I don't mind being 110 so long as I can change my own nappy, ya know what I mean. Though I'm not sure being 100+ years old is so hot if the love of your life croaks at 89. That's a long road to hoe alone.

I'd be all about finding a replacement as soon as possible, perhaps eharmony might develop a section for super seniors in the next 90 years.

I could imagine the descriptions:
Tyrone-"Have two of my own teefs"
Luther-"Will chew my lady's food"
Maggie-"Adore tepid sponge baths"

But seriously, the journey of independence in old age correlates to how you live your life when you are young. Many of us don't think of it now, we are much to young to care, and think this nerve and verve of youth will last a lifetime.


Nope.

Go to realage to see if you are truly young at heart. You may be surprised at what it tells you.

Perhaps you can enact some changes now, that will add years to your life.

Cheers,
P

Back!

My sincerest apologies for my unexplained disappearing act. I was kidnapped on November 17th, by aliens, as you may have guessed, and they only let me go tonight.

I know blame it on the rain, really my absence was a combo of DOMS, tryptophan, a jenky internet connection and miscellaneous matters all mounting concurrently. For the record I won't go MIA again w/o sufficient notice ;).

But I am back and in full effect, so let’s keep it moving, shall we?

We shall!

The last few weeks have been quite productive, this is the close of week 5 in Champaign and my body adapted pretty quickly to the first training cycle. A few weeks ago I went to practice on a Thursday and began a rather hard session. This workout used to make me queasy just knowing it was coming. I started the routine, which was a full body, high rep, exercise circuit that included using body weight and weights, with very little rest.

I zipped through the workout, and didn’t even chip a nail. Don’t get me wrong, I was taxed—this was expected. But I wasn’t wheezing, hurting or broken—this was not expected. I sat on the bench sipping my water, waiting to begin the second, (more tame) portion of the day’s session and a funny thing began to happen.

When I looked in the surrounding mirrors my muscles began to bulge and protrude. Not subtly-- but ala She-ra!


(ok if sister girl did have muscles!)

Caught off guard, I run to the mirror to examine my entire body. My muscles are pulsing. Even my earlobes look buff.

Yikes! Now I’m scared.

I bolt towards my coach and ask him, wide eyed: “Do you see this?!”. He sees exactly what I am worked up about and he begins to laugh.

Confused and following his lead I start to laugh too, though not knowing what about. But hoping he as the author of my form will be able to explain my beefing neck muscles.

Hearing the sounds of my demented laughter my training partner comes over to see what’s up. She just finished the same workout and clearly wasn't having the same physiological reaction that I did.

“Damn P!” she says through her own laughter, now. Who knew ones instantly hypertrophying trap muscles could induce such hysteria in others.

“I know. I’m a freak”.

Suddenly self-conscious, I ask my training partner if it looks bad. Being a good friend she doesn’t take that bait. Instead she proceeds to tell me, I look how I always look. “…but usually not till the summer”.



ok.

Not sure what to make of that assessment, I look to the coach for some science. Instead of science, I get frigging Marvel comic.




Coach and training partner decide to liken me to The Incredible Hulk.



You see how they do me?!

Talks of “green paint”, and “shredded shorts”, and “P, too bad Halloween is over”, is discussed through their chuckles.


BAHAHA. They so funny.

Once they got over making themselves blue in the face, we got to the serious stuff. Coach announced that he was pulling me from that particular workout.

“You’re done”.

He mentioned that he hasn’t seen definition in my back like that ever. I looked at the mirror over my shoulders. Indeed it was chiseled and dented to the point that I thought I was looking at Apollo Creed's back.

But to explain the phenomenon it’s just how my genetics work, and being away from this kind of environment for so long I forgot how I am built.



In the summer of 2002 as a sophomore in college, we had to totally revamp the way I lift and avoid routines that can bulk me up, since I can build muscle very quickly. Just because I am very strong, doesn’t mean I have to exhibit all of that. Heavy muscles mean extra weight and load. It’s great for me to be strong, but not at the expense of the power and explosion needed for my event.

I do have the nickname “beast” when it comes to strength training, I’m just shocked that my body has reminded us of that this early.



Hoping to be beastly or incredible in this new training phase. Which promises to bring me face to face with my kryptonite that is lactic acid runs and more lactic acid runs after that.

Bleh.

Glad to be back,
Hulk Dita

Body By P: Abs

I get hit up by my friends and family all the time to look at their workouts or make up a program for them. Some people are serious others just think it’s a good look. I suppose I come off as an awesome resource, but after I prescribe my medicine those ones never ask for more.



My number one request is “Can you help me with my abs?!”.

Sheesh Grandma, Isn’t it too late for you.

But I’ll oblige anyone, giving them what I know works for me. My peak season is the month of June, usually in the weeks before Caribana. “By bana time I’m wanna have a six-pack” they tell me.

I usually look them up and down and say: "Only Jesus can turn water into wine".

Kidding. But I suppose I have conjured up some grape juice.

Here's how you can turn your abs of tinfoil into ones of steel:

Watch What You Eat
If you desire a flatter or defined stomach, there are some things you have to do. Forget the crunches or gimmicks to get a smooth torso it starts with your diet. It is impossible to get the kind of belly you want if you eat a lot of processed foods. Foods that don’t grow in the ground or are picked off a tree when you eat them. The ones that are substituted with artificial nutrients and fillers.

Our days are full of them: Lattes, donuts, bagels, hot dogs, chips, white bread, sugar, soft-drinks, cookies...it's endless.

You can do as many ab focused exercise routines as you want, if you don’t lay the foundation with body composition you are wasting your time. All those packaged and low nutrient foods are not conducive to burning fat and toning your body. You get better and faster results if you can cut out most (if not all) of these food, while simultaneously working on your body.

This essential for females because excess fat in the body gets stored in our tummy and thigh regions!

Drink Up
I got to a point where I achieved decent body composition for my sport and genetic build. However I had a slight “Buddha belly”, a round little thing that I couldn’t get rid of and had no clue why. After reading and doing some research I discovered that I wasn’t hydrated enough.



And when you are dehydrated the body goes into a state where it stores water, and for me this showed up in my gut. So keeping hydrated lets your body know there is no drought and it doesn’t have to retain water. Doing this helps you lose weight and trim the waistline.



I also limit my liquid calories, juices, coffee, milkshakes, beer, soda, etc. I try to get a minimum of an ounce of water for every kilo I weigh. (8 ounces equal one glass). Be sure to get your electrolytes and drink water all throughout your day and not all in one sitting. I hate cold water but it burns more calories.

Total Body


The best approach to killer abs is to condition your entire body, spot treatment does not work! That is only doing crunches or ab routines and doing nothing for the rest of your body. A total body workout burns layers of fat and contributes to that definition and flat stomach you desire by helping you lose weight.

I Want Muscles
Cardio is key, but don’t forget the strength component, which is just as important to a balanced program.



I know some females are afraid of the buff look (I think it’s sexy). But toning and sculpting your body builds muscle. And people who have more musculature actually burn more calories when they exercise and do other activities.

My Other Guidelines
*Like any muscles group our abs shouldn’t be worked endlessly, they need rest. So I recommend 3-5 times per week.

*Change your routine up! Add a new exercise each week.

*As soon as an exercise does not challenge you, increase the repetitions or shorten the rest. As far as sets and repetitions here are my personal guidelines:

Easy: 3 Sets x 10 Reps

Medium: 3 Sets x 15 Reps

Chiseled Novice Pro: 3 Sets x 20 Reps

Civilian Solid: 5 Sets x 10 Reps

Olympic Ripped: 5 Sets x 25 Reps

*Instead of sets and reps do your exercises for 30 seconds on/30 seconds off, for 5 minutes or more.

*Get creative, add a medicine ball, a swiss ball, therabands, any weight or resistance.
I.e: Instead of plain crunches, hold on to a medicine ball as you do them, or use a swiss ball for improved balance.



*Don't forget to target all regions of your belly, when you select exercises. Your oblique, or side abs. Rectus abs which are your lower and upper tummy, that gives that six pack look. (The six pack is one entire muscle but connective tissue makes look like segments). Also your transverse abs, which run deep under the rectus and obliques and are not simply engaged by your basic abs exercises.

*I love my ab circuits: pick a select number of ab exercises (at least 4), then choose the number of sets and reps. Get a buddy and get started!

I'll try to post some exercises in the coming days.
Cheers,
P

Grocery Guidelines By P

It’s the end of the week which means, I’ll be looking into my fridge and taking note on what to buy this weekend at the grocery store. I love to shop for food, almost as much as I like to eat it. So here are some of my grocery shopping habits and rules, i've adopted over the years.

Go to the grocery store a few times a week

If you can manage it buy your meats the same day you are going to have it for dinner, or a day or two later. I love to buy my fish fresh from the counter and have it that same night. I also try to pick up a side of vegetables for a fresh salad mix.

Try a new fruit or vegetable each week

Try bok choy or kale instead of spinach. Bake a yam instead of a potato, or try a medley of berries in lieu of the typical apple. Break up the monotony of the same old foods and experiment with tastes.

Shop on the Periphery
As your eating becomes healthier you will be inclined to do the majority of your shopping on the outskirts of any grocery store. There you find the whole foods, and the best sources of nutrients that the body needs. I venture into the aisle only if I need oatmeal, (or I'm feeling weak). Everything in the center is packaged, low nutrient “food-like” items IMO.

The Cart: Our First Line of Defense
This week I pigged out on a whole bag of Pita chips (regrettably). They were on sale for $2 and normally they cost $4.48 at the Walmart. I put it in the cart lured by the deal, all the while knowing I should not bring this home.




So if you don’t want to be tempted by an item, do not even bring it into your home. (Instead open the package in the clothing aisle and eat a few helpings before you leave. Upon reaching satiety, walk away).

Fat free? So What
I used to buy “fat free” and “low fat” everything: milk, cottage cheese, yogurt, thinking it was better for me. Or that I could eat more of whatever it was that had “25%!” less fat. Not true. Fat free usually means more of something else, namely sugars. So because an item is lower in fat, doesn’t mean it is good for your body or a superior product.




Read It
Before I bring any item into my home, I check to see if I should give it that privilege by reading the label. I take note of the small print as if reading a contract. An agreement between this block of Havarti cheese and I! It promises to provide me with the best and I promise to eat it.




But really learn to read the nutrition information for a product, so you can compare and understand what you are getting.

And Rule of thumb I heard a long time ago: If you can’t pronounce it—-don't eat it!

Happy Shopping,
Perdita

BRR it's Chilly Outside and In

My training a partner and I are some G's going outside in wet, driving rain today. We warmed up inside, then went outside to run some hills.

Today unfortunately also warranted an ice bath. Not so bad in July when its hot and sunny. But extremely hard to do on cold and wet days like today.

Today reminded me of this pic below:



Clearly this is for the insane.
Ciao,
Perdita

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!!

Here's to honoring fallen heroes and those that presently keep us safe, and preserve our freedom.