Wednesday, February 9

DQFS-France 2011

**UPDATE** Some race footage of the race in France, thanks to KM for sending me the link! I'm in lane 4, fourth from left in red bunners.


I'm in Lesquin, France. And I can't wait to get out of here. Meeting Pas De Calais the second meet of my five meet indoor tour was last night. So now that I've set up the present lets go back to one instance the night before the race...

There is this jolly old Frenchman that has adopted me as one of his favorites, it doesn't matter how many times he sees me in the hotel its always the same refrain "PARE-DEETAH!!!....". I've been coming to this meet since 2004 so I'm a well known face here. I always make it a point to stop and chat and speak my best Frenglish to the staff, so I guess I'm appreciated.

I adore him dearly, but after three days when I see him coming I make myself small and avoid eye contact. Doesn't work. "PARE-DEETAH!!....". Really Sean Paul, I mean I just saw you 10 minutes ago in the elevator and for the cinquante time today!

Anyhoo the night before the race I'm in the hallway having a conversation, and who do I see coming towards us. Right, Sean Paul. Zut Alors. I brace for what will be another I just can't. Why can't peace just be still moment.

Sean Paul goes in. "PARE--DEETAH!!....." he exclaims and states that he is the false starter gun man for the competition. Bravo! I insist, good for you. He wags a naughty finger my way and laughs, (in French) honh honh honh. Basically dude was teasing me: do not make me have to cock a glock....

Right.

To which everyone basically says oh no PARE-DETAH, she doesn't false start (FS). Exactly Sean Paul so take your bad mind self to the elevator. You won't be popping no caps in my tail feather. I was a bit annoyed that everyone had that talk out in the universe. Shush. We're in France people, why don't you lot make colour commentary on how flaky the croissants are...

History of Me and the FS-You see I haven't false started in a race since 2000, I was a freshman in college and got disqualified (DQ) at the Texas Relays. The funny thing is I didn't really false start, my teammate Crystal beside me did, but they mistakenly charged me. In 2007 at the World Championships in the semi final I was called for a false start, but again it wasn't me who did it, they mistook my lane (no true stories lol, I know I sound like a convict).

The old rule allowed one FS for the field before a DQ, the new rule states one FS is an instant DQ. I don't usually pay any attention to the rule, because let's just be honest you've seen my start right? Exactly.

So to make a long story short-ish. Why the hell did I false start out of the bloody final last night?!! You hear my tone, so it's perfectly clear how I feel. I was in lane four and the official announced who was charged: "Numero quatre". I literally counted on my fingers "un, deux, trois....my lane---quartre! GAASSP." The revelation was crushing. Why couldn't quatre be French for lane one or something. Chaaa

And guess who was at the side line? Yes. Sean Paul. He escorted me off the track as I did the walk of shame. I was waiting for him to "PARE-DEETAH!!" me one last time. But for the first time in life Sean Paul was tres tranquil. And I appreciated that. My boy was so hurt he didn't even have a smile on his face or something jolly to tell me. And after the race he took me over to the starters to watch the official result. Looks like I rocked back in the block during the set position and the pedal sensors went off, which is a false start even if I didn't move forward before the gun.

I saw the girls after the race and congratulated Kellie Wells on an awesome race. No one believed I was called and a few of us had a good chuckle about it. Because let's just be honest, I'm not known for my starting prowess.

I ended the night doing a self-punishment workout on the spot. All professional athletes know that one well and have called upon its venom a time or two in their careers. The impromptu session sparked by the utter vexation, regret of falling short when there is no excuse, and taking it out on the flesh seems to be the only retribution.

I'm flying to Dusseldorf today and leaving this race behind me. I race again on Friday, the plan there is to show some discipline.

Take care,
PARE-DEETAH!!
**MEET RESULTS**